Oak
March 5, 2026 at 7:53:52 PM
Wow the spinning sun is mesmerizing!! And the blog design is soo charming, the color scheme is like a warm night sky somehow, the stars and the heavens, you are no fool for color and web design, that’s for sure. Small note: The Coolclips link in the Big box of paints doesn’t work.
And lastly some advice: I too am a sufferer of OCD, the frightening kind that made me want to die to protect others from myself. Low key psychotic, tethering at the edge of the line between life and death. I lived like that from the age of about 17 to around 26, but then after waiting 2,5 years I finally got into a program for OCD. Now, I live in a place where such things are free, and by the looks of your.. american citizenship and poverty; this might not be something you can do for a while, if ever. But I advise you to seek out intensive exposure therapy, mine lasted for only 4 days. I triggered myself to the breaking point under the supervision of a group of fellow patients and professionals via skype, and in my parents safe home so as to not be alone. It worked like a charm. I’d say it reduced it from 110% all the time, to 20% from one week to the next. I also learned how to reduce my OCD, not compulsions but effective methods I created in tandem with my specialists. What that is, is different for everyone.
Years later now, after starting on the meds quetiapine/wellbutrin, an antipsychotic, it has reduced it from my normal 30% down to 10 or so, fluctuating higher in times of stress, like moving, break-ups, and negative life events. But now I have space in my head for my other problems. And I’ll tell you this: I now consider the time I existed with untreated OCD as a trauma on my brain, one of which now inhibits me into pushing myself, being afraid anything can flare it up (Which it can tbh, but it takes more than before) I can’t sleep like a normal person, I need mild sedation because my mind won’t let go, it learned that’s when the intrusive thoughts explodes as I let go of the deathgrip on my mind. In some ways I find myself stuck, not mentally per say, but in life, because for those years plagued by OCD I barely matured, it took over everything. So my advice is this: Get help as soon as you can, try the meds out, they have given great results to ocd sufferers, and know that it will get better if you seek the help you need. You can only help yourself, your socioeconomic situation might hinder you, but as soon as you can, heed my advice. Exposure therapy is like walking through hellfire, but it’s brief compared to a lifetime of suffering, or a shorter life by your own hand. Good luck.Concatc me if you need to talk about it <3
Replied on: March 8, 2026 at 2:04:45 AM
thank you so much for your kind words and your story. i appreciate the compliments on the site, thats amazing to hear and im glad you think so!
in regards to your own journey with ocd, im sorry you had to go through the things you have. it truly sounds horrifying but definitely made me feel less alone. since my initial flare up, ive personally been handling things quite well. my own mother struggles with ocd and has helped me cope with it in some ways. but i acknowledge things can always be the way they used to be, and good times dont always last forever. ive considered several times to get into exposure therapy and i have a feeling i will one of these days. at the moment, not even plain old therapy is an option for me but it will be one day. thank you. ill continue fighting and hopefully we both suffer a lot less.
